Here's your free study guide outline. You can use this with your book club or church study groups for "The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children." And if you purchase multiple copies of the book from us, you will receive a discount. Call us at 1-800-569-1877 for more information.

Getting Started

As the organizer of the group, you will need to make a copy of this guide for each member The suggested group size is 3 to 20, and the time frame is 4-6 meetings, 2-3 hours per meeting. You can add members as you go along, but it is better not to add anyone after the second session unless the whole group wants to review for the sake of the new arrivals.

Group Coordinator:

This study guide is designed to have a group leader for each session. Their job during each session is to arrange and confirm location, attendance, refreshments, and lead the discussion group. The group leader recognizes each speaker, and makes sure the discussion stays on the subject for that session. Their goal is to honor the person talking, and support their efforts at home as well as sharing with the group.

We find that the groups that work best use forward focus questions (see Chapter 1) to avoid a teaching or telling style which can shut down sharing. The goal is to create a very supportive, warm, positive environment where people truly get excited about the potential and success of their family. Everyone is welcome to share their own experiences, ideas and stories. The session leader and the group are on the same team, sharing in the opportunity to help one another, each family and the community.

The Goal:

As each participant begins to share ideas and stories with other parents, an amazing phenomenon happens. Each person gains a sense of authority over the ideas presented, making the ideas his or her own. This improves family life and positively affects their own personal growth in career and interpersonal relationships. Placing blame or feeling powerless is replaced by taking responsibility for enhancing self, home and community. This ultimately leads to the realization that EACH PERSON TRULY CAN MAKE A VITAL DIFFERENCE!

First Session: Introductions

Ask your group members to set up the rules of your meetings. Group leader will ask the Study Guide questions and recognize each member who wishes to speak. To keep everyone participating, the Group Leader should:

• ALWAYS USE FORWARD FOCUS QUESTIONS (see Chapter 1) to focus the group on solutions rather than dwelling on the problem.
• GIVE EACH SPEAKER YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION AND LISTEN to what he/she has to say. If necessary, put a time limit on speakers to give everyone a chance to speak.
• REALIZE THAT THIS IS NOT A DEBATE about what's right or wrong. This is a sharing of ideas, questions, and success stories among participants.

The following questions keep the group on the forward side of the energy circle (see pg. 43):

• Share the names and ages of your children, and something you value most about your family.
• What is your objective in joining the group?
• How do you expect this to benefit your family (community/organization)?
• Think back to the first time you met your kids. What were your dreams for them then?
• What qualities and values did you want them to grow up with? What are your dreams for them now?
• What is the value of giving these gifts to your family?

Session2 - 6: The Tools

FORWARD FOCUS, MESSAGES, TEACH, LISTEN, MODEL

Ask the following questions for each of the five tools, and share your successes in using them:

• How have you used this tool in the past? In the last week?
• What is the cost of doing it the old way? What is the benefit of doing it the new way?
• What are the gifts (qualities and values) you are giving your family in using this tool?
• Create and share your plan focusing more of this tool.

7th Session: Review of Tools

• What has been the greatest revelation or idea you have gotten from reading the book?
• Where are you applying it? (share a brief story if possible).
• What do all 5 tools have in common?
• They are parenting from the heart. This is the way we all want to be treated and treat others.
• They are all about giving, not about controlling or winning or fixing.
• They can be used to handle situations in a way that gets the job done, and also gives priceless lifetime gifts of qualities and values.

8th Session: The Gifts

• In your words, how would you describe each of these gifts?
• What are some ways that you are already giving these gifts to your family?
• What is the value of these gifts to your life now... and when your children grow up?
• How does each of the tools work to nurture these gifts?
• In Small Groups: Create and present to group plans to nurture more of these gifts using all five of the tools.

Celebration of Family:

Now that you have all spent this time together, you may want to have a celebration potluck dinner and include all the kids! You may also want to consider getting together again in 3 to 6 months just to keep in touch. Some of you may be so inspired that you want to suggest a new study group to some of your other friends and family or church group.